Monthly Archives: January 2012


Where have I been? Busy mostly. As time passes the signs and symptoms are either diminished or gone all together. I snore when I sleep. I don’t duck at loud thumps. I can stand in crowded bars. I can sit with my back to a crowd. All this is done with effort but the fact that its possible is a step in the right direction. Still doesn’t explain where I have been. I am focusing on the million other things that are going on and trying to make them all work. I started out writing this as some sort of advice column about my “success” in dealing with PTSD… that at this point is laughable to me and I am sure to most of you as well. It has become an episodic living journal of the ebb and flow of what is to me an epic struggle. I am wholly different than I was just a few short years ago, life has done a 180 and then to borrow from Dr. Seuss made a 3/4 right. I don’t view where I am as success or completion just another check point on the route.

So enough about what’s going on in my head. There has been some significant changes in the war while I was on my sabbatical. The Iraq war is done. How do I feel about it? I don’t. I couldn’t care less. In fact its more of a feeling of what in the hell took so long. The Iraq war was over before I was even out of high school, before I joined up, and went over there to fight. How you ask, because then we started nation building, a failed and very unintelligent idea to take a backward country and attempt to make it follow our very crooked political system. Great idea. So the best we had to offer continued dying for some altruistic idea of what Iraq should be, not what it is and what it will soon be. As we pull out and over the next couple of years they will show their true colors. Survival of the fittest will be in full blossom as the corrupt and crooked officials and tribal leaders squabble for the scraps. Civil war or religious sectarian war or both will break out. Thousands more will die and even better they are now a battle hardened country. So you ask me how I feel about Iraq ending…. who gives a S@#$. People may get wrapped around the axle about that, saying but then the troops died for nothing. That is completely wrong. Whatever the reasons or intentions that we sent our troopers to war for don’t matter. It put good men and women in a rough place to do good things. Our men and women in uniform have an incredible ability to help, serve, and protect our country, their own ranks, and even the country that they are occupying. Those that died were following orders,  removing individuals that no longer needed to consume oxygen, or protecting their own, a more noble endeavor there is none. We brought honor to a country that had and has none, and it will leave with us.

On to our urinating Marines. Where in the hell is the NCO. Find that man and kick him in the balls. How stupid are you? Peeing on a dead body… seriously and then video-taping. These guys just won the shit-storm sweepstakes for being the biggest morons in the Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children… that’s a hell of a feat… you jar-heads know I speak the truth. I have read what the LTC West has to say, I agree war is hell, but you must always respect your enemy even if you hate them. By dishonoring them you dishonor yourself.  Not to mention the socio-political fallout that is coming. I could care less about the politics what I mean is that now recruiting on their side is gonna spike. They are pissed off, they have an “Alamo” to remember now and these dumbasses may have just single-handedly killed a lot of US service-members for their little golden shower video. Stupid, deplorable, dishonorable, oh and did I mention you freaking video-taped it you freaking numb-nut morons……. sorry Staff Sergeant is rearing his very angry head. Do they still have whips on the books as punishment?

To any and all who have served. Stop Killing yourself. I have lost too many last year by their own hand. Chill out, call someone, put the hand cannon down and think for a minute.

Other than that I am solid for now. Graduate in May. I have been playing  in a busy ER, sticking my fingers in peoples gunshot wounds again. I love that stuff.