I haven’t had much to say lately, that’s strange. Does that mean that I am coping better or taking 2 steps back? Never really know I suppose. In the past couple of weeks the stress has mounted but so have the coping mechs. I have had more adrenaline rushes than normal, more anger outbursts. Is it just stress or just the flood waters rising. Could it all be related to I haven’t had much to say. Could the would be product actually be the cause?
I started this forum, to help everybody else realize that they weren’t alone and to offer my perspective on dealing with life after combat. At some point it became very important to my coping and dealing. I feel better when I write but it has a dual negative impact when I don’t, I feel like I am letting you down but I also don’t get that benefit of a tabula rossa (blank slate).
The blank slate is a feeling I get when I finish a post. Its a feeling of letting it go, taking that 100lbs weight off my chest and breathing free for a minute. Its a feeling I’d expect anyone with my particular set of experiences (any vet) to feel when they finally find a place to put or lay down their burden. My original place was in my physical exercise, then I split it between this and that, and now its predominantly become the writing. I would encourage everyone reading that has trouble to do something to purge whats going on in their minds. It gives the creator a chance to think about the issues with a sort of side perspective not usually seen, one that is less traumatizing.
I haven’t had much to say lately, but suddenly I do again. Ebb and flow as with anything I suppose.